8 Signs to Identify Healthy Relationships & Find Real Love When Healing From Narcissistic Relationships

There’s a point in every healing journey where you start asking: Wait, what does a healthy relationship even look like?!

Because when you’ve spent years walking on eggshells, people-pleasing, and twisting yourself into an emotional pretzel trying to “fix” someone, the idea of ease in a relationship can feel foreign. Almost suspicious.

"Relationships are hard work," they say. But are they supposed to be THIS hard?

If you’ve been in a narcissistic or toxic relationship, you might not have a clear blueprint for what healthy actually is. So today, let’s change that.

By the end of this, you’ll know exactly what to look for—and why real love doesn’t have to feel like a full-time job.

Listen to the full episode "8 Signs To Identify Healthy Relationships & Find Real Love When Healing From Narcissistic Relationships" here!

First, let’s talk about what keeps us stuck.

For a long time, I believed relationships were supposed to be hard. That love meant proving my worth by constantly bending, adapting, and making excuses for bad behavior.

I thought: If I just love them enough, they’ll change.

I was drawn to emotionally unavailable men like a moth to a flame (or, more accurately, like a codependent to a narcissist). I thought if I tried harder—was more perfect, more understanding, more of whatever they needed—they’d finally see my worth. And once they did, then I could relax. Then I could feel secure.

Spoiler: That never happened.

What did happen? A constant state of anxiety, exhaustion, and feeling like I was carrying the emotional weight of the relationship alone.

And here’s the kicker—so many women believe this is just how relationships are. That being “chosen” means proving yourself. That love is about sacrifice, not partnership.

But real love? Healthy love? It doesn’t work that way.

8 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

So what does a healthy relationship look like? Here’s what to look for:

1. Healthy Communication

A relationship without healthy communication is like trying to build IKEA furniture without instructions—frustrating, confusing, and likely to end in tears.

In a healthy relationship, you can:

• Express your needs without fear.

• Talk about issues before they become World War III.

• Feel heard and understood, not dismissed or belittled.

"If I respect you, I want to know what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling, and what your experience is. And if I want to know those things, I make space for them—with curiosity, not criticism."

2. Accountability (aka, Taking Responsibility for Your Sh*t)

Ever been in a relationship where every disagreement somehow became your fault?

In a healthy relationship, both people take responsibility for their actions. Apologies are real, not manipulative. There’s self-awareness, reflection, and the ability to say, “Hey, I messed up. I’m sorry. How can I make this better?”

3. Compromise (Not Sacrifice)

Compromise means both people’s needs matter. It’s finding a middle ground, not one person always giving up their needs for the sake of keeping the peace.

"Compromise is both of us rowing the boat together. Sacrifice is one person doing all the rowing while the other enjoys the view."

4. Safety & Trust

If you don’t feel emotionally, physically, or psychologically safe, it’s not a relationship—it’s survival mode.

A healthy partner builds trust, not breaks it. You don’t have to second-guess their words, wonder where they were, or fear that expressing your feelings will lead to an explosion.

5. Respect

Without mutual respect, none of the other signs matter. It’s about valuing each other’s opinions, boundaries, and differences.

If someone constantly dismisses your needs, puts you down, or makes you feel small—that’s not love, it’s control.

6. Fun (Yes, This Matters!)

You should enjoy each other! There should be laughter, playfulness, and moments where you can just be without analyzing every interaction.

"A healthy relationship feels like your younger selves playing together—silly, free, and full of joy."

7. They Lift You Up (Not Tear You Down)

Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader, not a subtle (or not-so-subtle) critic. Are they celebrating your wins? Encouraging your growth? Or are they making you feel small, insecure, or uncertain?

Real love amplifies you—it doesn’t shrink you.

8. Equal Partnership

Is it 50/50—or is one of you doing all the emotional and physical labor? A healthy relationship means shared effort, shared decision-making, and shared emotional support.

Why This Matters

If you’ve spent years in unhealthy relationships, healthy love might feel unfamiliar at first—maybe even boring.

But let me remind you: calm isn’t boring—it’s safe.

When you know what to look for, you stop settling for “good enough.” You stop justifying red flags. You stop trying to fix people who aren’t willing to change.

And the best part? When you expect better, you attract better.

Want to Go Deeper?

If this resonated, you’ll love this episode: Ep. 49: Am I Codependent? How to Stop Fixing Everyone & Build Self-Esteem So You Can Have Healthier Relationships.

And if you’re ready to break free from toxic patterns and start creating the kind of love you actually deserve, let’s work together. Fill out this form to get started on your journey toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

 
Because, my love, you deserve more than a lukewarm bath—you deserve the bubble bath experience. Candles, essential oils, and all. ✨