Breaking Free from Codependency & Building Healthy Self-Esteem

Let’s talk about codependency—yep, the heavy, sticky stuff that’s way too familiar for some of us. I recently sat down with two incredible women, Behk and LAH, the hosts of Narcissists, Gaslighters, and Cheaters, Oh My! to unpack how codependency sneaks into our relationships, why it’s so damn hard to shake, and most importantly, how we can start untangling ourselves from this mess.

In our chat, we hit all the real-life struggles of codependency: waiting for the addict to “choose us,” bending over backwards to control what we can’t (or shouldn’t), and discovering that letting go is sometimes a big ol’ glass of “not my f***ing problem.” We don’t sugarcoat it—healing from codependency is hard, courageous work that affects not only our own lives but future generations. This episode is packed with real stories, strategies to kick codependency to the curb, and some good laughs along the way.

Listen to the full episode here!

Codependency: Why We Can’t Just “Snap Out of It”

The idea that we “need to be needed” just didn’t resonate with any of us. Instead, we talked about feeling compelled to fix and control—especially in relationships where we’re dealing with someone else’s issues (looking at you, addiction and dysfunction). There’s this misconception that we’re being “supportive” when we’re actually just enabling and abandoning ourselves in the process. For Behk, it took realizing she was running around with a fire extinguisher while her partner set everything ablaze. And for many of us, it takes an “aha” moment like that to finally put down the fire hose and say, “Not my problem.”

So, where do we start?

How to Break Out of Codependent Patterns

1. Recognize the Pattern (Without Self-Judgment). The first step is seeing that you’re doing it—without beating yourself up. I’ve been in therapy, with friends and books, and STILL find myself slipping up sometimes. So, cut yourself some slack and accept that it’s a journey.

2. Detach with Love. This is big. It means letting the other person handle their own mess. Detaching doesn’t mean you stop caring; it means you care enough to let them face their own consequences.

3. Build Yourself Up (Seriously, This is Crucial). Codependency loves to show up when we feel shaky on our own. Strengthening your own self-worth and knowing what you need in a relationship is everything. (Need help figuring this out? My Find Yourself Again course is here for you!)

4. Take It Day by Day (Relapse Happens). Even the most self-aware, therapy-loving people fall back into codependent habits. Instead of beating yourself up, just gently notice it, make a course correction, and keep moving forward.

You’re Not Alone in This

One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is that you’re NOT alone. So many of us have been in relationships where codependency felt like “just what you do,” especially if we grew up in households where it was modeled as normal. Part of healing is finding people who get it, and we’re here to remind you that you’re not alone.

If you’re ready to start looking at relationships differently, grab my free Relationship Reset Guide. It’s all about how to communicate without feeling guilty, navigate triggering moments, and feel solid within yourself (so you’re not clinging to others to feel OK).

This episode is a no-BS look at how codependency shows up in all kinds of ways—and how you can start taking back control of your life by letting go of everyone else’s mess. Tune in here to listen, laugh, and dive into some serious healing.

What to Do Now

• Find Yourself Again Course: Reconnect with your needs and build your self-worth in relationships.
• Relationship Reset Guide: Discover healthy ways to communicate and navigate relationships with confidence.

Ready to Start Your Healing Journey?

If you're ready to dive deeper and work together on breaking free from codependency, building self-esteem, and creating healthier relationships, fill out my Interest Form to explore how we can support your journey to personal growth and empowerment.

Let’s keep breaking free, one “not-my-problem” at a time.

 
.