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Coping With Loneliness After Heartbreak During the Holidays

bre's personal journal healing from painful relationships podcast Dec 04, 2024


The holidays—billed as the most magical time of the year—can also be the loneliest, especially when you’ve just gone through a breakup. I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve sat by a sparkling Christmas tree, wrapped in a cozy blanket, wondering how I’d ever find joy again while feeling the weight of heartbreak in my chest.

If you’re in that place right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone. In this blog, I’m sharing how I navigated loneliness after heartbreak during the holidays, what helped me honor my emotions, and how I ultimately found peace (and even a little magic) during one of the toughest seasons of my life.

Listen to the full episode "How to Cope with Loneliness After Heartbreak During the Holidays" here!

 




 

Permission to Feel It All


The holidays have a way of turning the volume up on everything you’re feeling—especially if you’re already hurting. Everywhere you look, there are romcoms, gift guides, and happy couples kissing under the mistletoe. Meanwhile, you might be crying in your car five minutes before a family gathering.


I know what it’s like to fake a smile and pretend you’re fine. I’ve been the one showing up to holiday parties, putting on a cheerful front, and dying inside. But here’s what I’ve learned: pretending doesn’t help.


“If you limit your capacity for loneliness, you’re also limiting your capacity for joy.”


It wasn’t until I gave myself permission to be sad that I started to feel glimmers of joy again. When I stopped trying to numb my feelings and allowed myself to sit with the pain, I found that I could also sit with hope.


 

Holding Magic and Loneliness Together


It’s not easy to hold space for two opposing emotions at once. How do you feel grief while also making room for joy? How do you honor your loneliness while staying open to the possibility of connection?


I found that things got a lot harder when I tried to resist my feelings. The real turning point for me came when I decided to stop fighting them.


Yes, it was hard to see happy couples and hear well-meaning relatives ask me for the hundredth time, “What happened?” But instead of shutting down, I chose to lean in. I let myself feel the sadness, the anger, the longing—and eventually, the relief.

“I didn’t want to numb anymore. I wanted to be awake to the pain and the joy.”


By holding space for both, I realized I didn’t have to choose between the magic of the holidays and the grief of my breakup. I could have both.



Will I Be Alone Forever?


Ah, the question that haunted me for months: Will I be alone forever?


For a long time, I was convinced the answer was yes. I’d been through so much pain in my last relationship that I couldn’t imagine trusting anyone again. But as I moved through my healing journey, I came to a powerful realization: I would rather be alone than settle ever again.

“When I finally accepted being alone, it didn’t feel like a punishment—it felt like self-respect.”


And guess what? That’s when everything changed. I stopped searching, stopped forcing, and started focusing on myself. That shift opened the door to the healthy, loving partnership I have now.



How to Honor Your Loneliness and Find Magic


So, how do you navigate the holidays when your heart feels heavy? Here’s what helped me:

  • Acknowledge your feelings. Let yourself feel sad, angry, or lonely without judgment.
  • Find safe connections. Spend time with people who support and uplift you.
  • Look for small moments of joy. A sparkling light display, a favorite holiday movie, or even a cozy cup of tea can be enough.
  • Be kind to yourself. When that fear of being alone creeps in, remind yourself: This is hard, but I’m going to be okay.

 

“Compassion is everything. Meet yourself with love, even when it feels like the world is falling apart.”


 

My Wish for You


This time of year gets to be both magical and lonely, and that’s okay. You’re a complex, beautiful human being, capable of holding both.


If you’re fresh out of a breakup, I want you to know that you’re not alone in this. I invite you to check out Episode 25: What To Do After the Breakup. It’s packed with actionable steps to help you move through grief and heartbreak.


If you’re ready to take your healing deeper, I’d love to connect. Fill out this quick form to explore working together.


Above all, give yourself permission to feel everything—the sadness, the anger, the hope, and the magic. You are already enough, already lovable, and already whole.


You’ve got this, and I believe in you.

 

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