How 'Bout No

 Any Dr. Evil fans?!? 

This quote of his from Austin Powers gets me every time.

But, seriously.

How many times have you said yes but meant no?

How many favors have you done, conversations you’ve had, and parties you’ve gone to where you know you didn’t want to but you begrudgingly did anyway.

Far too f*cking many.

As a recovering people pleaser, it was literally foreign to me when I was presented with the idea of saying no.

Me: "Like wait, what? You mean I don’t HAVE TO do it?"

Me: "A boundary? I can't do that, that is mean."

And as crazy as it sounds, it is still hard for me at times to decide if I actually truly want to do the thing.

There are lines of codependency laced in this (a blog for another day), but knowing my internal yes/no knowing vs. the “should” or “have to” feeling is a thing.

So I feel you if you sometimes get lost in the shoulds.

As women we need to remember that we have a voice, we have needs, and we have the right to do what is best for us.

No longer putting others before ourselves.

Because, f*ck that noise.

If you’re bending over backwards for people out of fear, pity or guilt you are robbing them of your authenticity.

And setting up everyone for a bad day.

Because when you’re in the yuck place, your energy is leaking and everyone can feel it.

It’s time to show our little selves some respect and put ourselves first.

So next time, really ask yourself if you want to, simply for the pure joy of it.

And if not... it’s a hell no, period. 

Soul Hugs, 

Bre